Gracie

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 03:22:14 GMT

OMG I can'tr believe I'm posting here again!

I am drunk off my ass so I woin't post much But I just ran into DONNY!! again and he pointed me in the direction of this place

Anyway, I'll post more when I'm sober! I've got almost a year of catching up to do!

Love y'all!

Love,
Gracie

What a week...

Wed, 05 Mar 2003 18:03:26 GMT

Wow... what a strange, roller coaster of a weekend. Well, it was more than the weekend. But it was full of extremely high and extremely low emotions.

Mardi Gras... what can I say? It's a blast. Started Tuesday of last week (the parades). My kids came back from Pebble Beach with my mom on Wednesday. Thursday, Adam and I took them to the parades. Lauren had a BLAST. Should have seen her. EVERYONE wanted to throw that little cutie the beads. Davey spent the evening on Adam's shoulders dancing to the marching bands. hehe It was really cute. Friday night, again, we went to more parades with them. Saturday morning we brought them to mom's and kissed them goodbye for the weekend. Mardi Gras isn't the place for kids in New Orleans after Saturday.

Saturday afternoon, Adam's friend Frank came down from Detroit to spend the week with us. We picked him up from the airport and went to meet some of Adam's other friends, and Alesia (the girl I was freaked out about... for those of you who know that story). We went out Saturday, got drunk off our asses and made complete fools of ourselves along with the other 2 million people in the French Quarter on the Saturday before Mardi Gras. It was so much fun.

Got home about 3:00 AM on Sunday morning. Passed out and slept like a baby all night. 9:00 in the morning, my mom called. I could hear Lauren screaming in the background. Dreyfus, my little Maltese, was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago and Saturday night it got bad. He couldn't breathe. So I came home. We stabilized Dreyfus and calmed Lauren down. Adam came with me. He was really supportive.

Monday morning, we had to put Dreyfus to sleep. He couldn't breathe and he was bleeding internally. It was so hard. My mom took Davey and Lauren out for the weekend to the beach and Adam and I went back to New Orleans with his company and again got drunk off our asses. But it was a good distraction from what was really going on at home.

We were dancing in Tropical Isle Monday night when Adam told me he loved me for the first time. I just looked at him and said "You're just saying that because you're drunk" and he said "No. I'll tell you again in the morning". And sure enough, he did. And he hasn't stopped saying it since then.

I'm still pretty bummed out but I'm better. My kids are having a hard time with the Dreyfus situation. He was like a child to me and my kids have never been without him. He was a puppy when Lauren was born. God I miss that dog.

Well it's Ash Wednesday and I have to go get ashes before I head to work. I'll talk to you people's later.

Love,
Me

Fri, 21 Feb 2003 23:19:37 GMT

Hiya!

Well it's one helluva WET Friday here. Gah! I'm just waiting on Adam to get to my house so we can swim to dinner. Jesus God it's been raining for over 24 hours, and in a place where you're already under sea level, that kinda sucks. Oh well... we'll live. Maybe it'll be flooded in tomorrow and I won't have to work. Wishful thinking?

I talked to Laura last night. Things went well and it was SO NICE to talk to her again. She had a lot of questions and I hope to God I was able to clear some things up for her. I can't tell you how much it'd mean to have her back in my life again. I miss her so much.

But I don't have much time to chit chat because I have to go tidy up a bit. My kids are out of town with my mom and I make just as big a mess as they do. lol Bad mommy!

Talk to you all later. :-D

Mon, 17 Feb 2003 17:25:38 GMT

AHHHHH Valentine's Day was INCREDIBLE!

Ever see movies with scenes in them... all romantic and stuff? Flower petals everywhere, cande light being the only light in the entire house, wine, etc? THAT was my Valentine's Day night.

He kept telling me when I got there I couldn't go into the second bedroom. Being the nosy girl I am I knew I'd end up peeking so I rode around until he got home before I went there. lol

We exchanged gifts. He gave me a buncha Bath & Body Works stuff, a CUTE stuffed puppy named Constance, and a necklace with dangling heart pendants on it. Really cute. Then we went to dinner at Antoinne's. One of the nicest and BEST restaurants in the Greater New Orleans area.

When we got home, he said "You have to give me 5 minutes, then I'll let you see what's in here". Of course I was ITCHING to see... but I was good.

He came out, handed me a glass of wine, took me by the hand and said "Gracie, I just wanna thank you for making the last few months the best time of my life. And no matter what happens with us in the future, I want this to be our night to enjoy each other. So, welcome to our night of wine and roses."

Then he opened the door and I thought I'd drop. Roses lining each wall in vases. They were pink, white and red. On the floor and covering the bed were the rose petals. He had small, pretty white towels on the floor... each towel had 9 tea light candles lit on it and those were lining the foot of the bed on the floor. It was unbelievable. I coulda kicked myself for not taking pictures. But he said he'd do it again so I could. lol He toasted me and we drank to our relationship.

We laughed at each other at one point. He tried to do the cross arms and drink the wine thing... LOL Didn't work well. We both spilled wine all over the place. But it was so sweet and so romantic and AHHHH... just awesome.

Then Saturday night we went to see the Tulane basketball game. God I hadn't been to one of those in forever. It was a blast. After the game we went to the French Quarter and got plastered. God I acted and felt like a kid this weekend. It was so much fun.

I tell ya... he's an amazing guy. :-D

Mon, 10 Feb 2003 17:14:27 GMT

WTF is wrong with me. I keep thinking about Laura for some stupid reason. She hates me and I miss her like crazy. :-( I'm with Adam and I think about Laura constantly. I even told him about her. It's just fucked up. :-( Gah!

Sun, 09 Feb 2003 17:39:32 GMT

So most of you know since you all read Don's journal. Lauren isn't doing well. She's got something called Sinoatrial ventricular tachycardia (SVT). In short, her heart is beating over 200 beats per minute at ALL times. Sometimes it goes up to as high as 270. They're not sure what caused it. Right now, they're thinking it could be genetic. My sister had the exact same thing when she was pregnant with Courtney so it's possible that's what it is. Either way, they have to find the right medicine for her before she can even think about going home. And when they find it she'll have to be on it for the rest of her life. It's not fair. :-(

Thank you all for the email and prayers. Its helpful knowing there's so many people praying for her. I appreciate it.

Fri, 31 Jan 2003 16:50:26 GMT

Hiya!

So how many of you thought I disappeared off the face of the earth? Well... I didn't... just couldn't see it. lol The new year has started off pretty shitty. New Years Eve I started with a problem with my eye... got really red and burned like fire. Thought it was pink eye but it turned out to be what was a corneal ulcer. Worst turned to worst and I ended up having a cornea transplant. SUCKED so bad. I'm just now getting to the point where I can look at a computer screen without crying. But I still have to wear granny sunglasses constantly. BLEH!

Things otherwise are going GREAT. Deciding to give Adam a chance has been the BEST THING that's ever happened to me. He's absolutely incredible. He's been so supportive about everything. And we've only got in one little bitty argument which wasn't even really an argument. lol He's just wonderful.

To all my LJ friends, I hope you're all doing great. I miss hearing from you all. I still have email ya know?! Email me sometime too and I'll be able to email back. I love you guys! Keep in touch and I promise I'll try to do better! :-D

OMG YAY!

Sat, 28 Dec 2002 19:21:49 GMT

I have a user icon! Isn't he adorable?

Now I just have to figure out how to change the comment thing so it says something like "Talk to me" or something other than "Comment" LOL BORING! Oh well... you LJ experts, tell me what I gotta do

What a week

Sat, 28 Dec 2002 17:29:56 GMT

OMG it totally sucks to spend your birthday in the hospital. :-(

I got the flu bug from hell. Scared the hell out of Adam and he brought me to the hospital Tuesday night. I was throwing up so much I couldn't hold my head up. Yuck... it was not fun. Needless to say, Christmas day sucked much too.

But I still had an okay time. It made me smile to see the kids so happy. They were so psyched with the things they got and Adam I think had more fun with their stuff than his. lol Cute.

But I'm at work now and I'm going out to dinner with my honey tonight so I need to close. Wanted to update and say hi to everyone though. I haven't forgotten anyone!

Hope everyone else had a great holiday. I'll be in touch.

Ahhh the holidays

Sat, 21 Dec 2002 16:58:02 GMT

Holy cow are things hectic. You should see our house. Mom told Adam she didn't want him on the roads during the holidays so she's making him stay with us. lol Not that he objects, or me either for that matter. But on top of him and me and my kids and mom and her husband, my sister from Chicago is in with her 1 year old and her husband. It's NUTS! But it's the holidays and everyone is happy and having a good time. It's a wonderful time of year. I just wish my little girl wasn't so sick.

I am working today then have to go home to wrap presents. I got Adam a new watch for Christmas. He's had the one he's wearing since his senior year of high school and it's all scratched up and yucky. lol So I got him a new one. I dunno what he got me. He keeps telling me it'll make me shine. LOL Whatever that means. ;-)

Lauren wanted nothing but Dora the Explorer things. Dave is into Bob the Builder. So they got tons of that stuff. I also got Lauren her first pair of diamond earrings. Adam got her some new ballet shoes and jazz shoes. He also got her a bunch of dance apparell monogrammed. She's gonna freak. He bought the kids some toys for the pool. He got Dave a new game to play with on the Game Cube. He's really good to them.

Tomorrow I have my father's Christmas party to go to. Monday I have to work again... UGH. Then Tuesday is my birthday, Wednesday is Christmas and Thursday is Lauren's birthday. Fun fun!!

Talk to you all soon. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!

Fri, 20 Dec 2002 04:35:56 GMT

Wow... exhausting.

Things are nuts here with Lauren sick. Can't do anything. All she wants is her mommy, though today she did let Adam hold her while I went to get her medicine from the pharmacy. I didn't wanna take her out in this wet, cold, rainy slop.

I got maybe 2 hours of sleep last night. I'm so exhausted. Adam is asleep on the sofa with Lauren on his chest, so I'm gonna go crawl next to him and try to nap while she's okay. I'll update more later

Thank you to all my new friends for the encouraging comments and I PROMISE when I have more time I'll post in your journals as well. Talk to you all soon!

Thu, 19 Dec 2002 15:24:40 GMT

OMG this was just too cute. I stole it from Catie. lol Thanks girl. Made me laugh big time.

http://www.funtown.com/dirtybaby/dirtybaby.cfm

Thu, 19 Dec 2002 05:52:28 GMT

Well POO... I didn't get to go out to dinner. My daughter got sick. :-(

But it was still a great night. As I was getting dressed Lauren's breathing got really bad. So I had to call Adam and cancel. I was in the process of giving Lauren a breathing treatment when Adam walked in with carryout and candles. lol So he set the table then came and sat by me and Lauren. He grabbed Dave and turned on Toy Story and we all sat there and watched.

It was around 9:00 before I was done with the treatments and I felt so bad. I know he had to be hungry. I kept telling him I was sorry. At one point he put his finger on my lips and shook his head. lol He's cute.

Anyway, Dave fell asleep in his arms and he went to put him to bed. After Lauren's treatments she's always hyper so of course she was off the wall for an hour. But in the meantime, she was running around with the dog and hit her head on the counter bar. :-( She's got a big hickey.

It was awesome to see him with her when she got hurt though. Before I could even react, he had her on his shoulder rubbing her back telling her it'd be okay. He's so good with them. I'm so lucky.

After she calmed down, he went to sit on the recliner and Lauren was still playing with her leap pad. So I went to sit on his lap for a bit and just put my head on his shoulder. I almost fell asleep too until Lauren came to climb on his lap. lol He said "Wow, how lucky can a guy get? Two of the best women in the world on my lap at the same time" lol It made Lauren laugh. We both fell asleep and when he went to put Lauren in bed he woke me up with a kiss on the forehead.

By that time we were BOTH famished. So we sat down and had a glass of wine while I reheated our food in the oven. Grilled salmon. It was so yummy. After dinner we went to lay down on the sofa together and I fell right to sleep.

Lauren woke up 20 minutes later and he went to get her. He wanted me to show him how to give her the breathing treatments. So now, that's what he's doing. I'm sitting here on my laptop watching Adam give my daughter a breathing treatment. It's gonna be a long night... but Adam vowed not to leave. :-)

Roller coaster of emotions tonight. lol But I'm still smiling... it hasn't left my face!

Wed, 18 Dec 2002 23:47:41 GMT

Life is grand! lol

I swear, what an attitude change over the past week. I did something right, I guess. hehe I don't remember ever being this giddy over anything. So if you get sick of my babbling about how wonderful things are for me, just... well TOO BAD. lol I'M HAPPY!!!

Got flowers at work today. Was really a nice surprise. The card read... "To a new beginning. See you tonight beautiful. Love, Adam" Awwwww

Anyway, going to dinner so gotta shower and stuff! Talk to you peoples later!

Wed, 18 Dec 2002 05:17:05 GMT

Woo what a long day...

Got up this morning with a kiss on the cheek from Adam. No he didn't stay the night, but he got here early to get the kids up so I could sleep an extra 30 minutes. He's wonderful. Got Lauren on the bus and Lorissa came to take Dave. So after they were gone, Adam came to sit on my bed and for some strange reason I didn't even hear him. I'm usually such a light sleeper. But he said I just kinda rolled over and he sat there and watched me. hehe Then when he kissed my cheek I woke up. Wonderful way to wake up.

I jumped outta bed, looked at the clock and panicked. lol I yelled for Lauren and Adam was like... They're already gone honey. :-) So sweet.

So anyway, I got in the shower, got dressed and he brought me to work because he had some stuff to do downtown New Orleans too. He had the official closing on his house today and stuff.

Work was HELL. It was so freakin busy. Non stop. And goofy me was all dressed for the party tonight, and I had on some new shoes. Ladies, never wear new shoes all day long. lol KILLER.

Anyway, at 4:45, Adam showed up and everyone at work got to meet him. hehe They thought he was great. Of course he's great! lol So we went to the party where he met everyone from the Mandeville office. We had a really good time. I drank a wee bit much though so I was glad when the dinners came out. lol

We got home like an hour ago and the kids ran outside to see us. Do you know, that little stinker Dave ran up to ADAM first?! lol I was like... UGH! haha He just grinned. ;-) Cute. Lauren ran to her mommy though. hehe That's my girl. But she hopped down quickly to give Adam a hug too. They love him.

So instead of making him drive all the way to New Orleans tonight, he's gonna stay here. He's in the shower right now. He offered to sleep upstairs in the guest bedroom but it'll be nice to have his arms wrapped around me all night. Nothing will happen of course. WAY too soon for that. I just wanna snuggle. I'm wiped!

I'm gonna go crawl into bed now. More than likely I'll be asleep before he's outta the shower. lol I hope like hell Lauren makes it through the night today. Her teacher said she coughed and wheezed all day though so I doubt it. :-(

So I'm going get some sleep while I can. Sweet dreams!! *blows a kiss to friends* G'night!

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 02:59:34 GMT

Well what do ya know... it did it twice. LOL! WEEE!

I'm going to Wendy's for me and Adam. Kids are at Dad's tonight. TOODLES!!

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 02:58:21 GMT

HEY! What's up with that?! It didn't post my mood face or my music!

Let's try again

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 02:47:34 GMT

What a good day!

Well, after a long, drawn out battle with my emotions, I finally decided that I needed to move on with Adam. He's such an incredible person. Everyone and their dog was telling me I was a fool not to go for it.

As for Don... it's history. I guess there's always a part of me that will hold him special. As far as love? Not. I can't love someone that lies, that tries to play more than one person, and most of all, I can't love someone that puts me as second or third best. lol Yeah, I was a fool. Although, when he figured out that he had neither me, nor Catie, nor Renate anymore, he wasn't as gung ho about me and Adam as he had been before. Well, I can't say that. It's just that he kept trying to tell me in his own subtle way (which isn't too subtle anymore) that he wanted another chance. Sorry... no go.

ANYWAY! Last night... I told Adam I wanted to go out to dinner with him. My mom kept the kids and he took me out. We went to a really nice Thai restaurant because that's his favorite. So as we were eating, he looked at me and said "Gracie, you asked me out to dinner, and that's something rare, so tell me what's going on."

hehe I just smiled at him and said, "Remember when you told me you wished we could be more?" and he nodded as he stuck a spicy shrimp in his mouth. lol So I said "Well, I'm ready and willing if you still are". He asked me to repeat it. lol Like he didn't hear it. So I said it again and he said "What about Don?" and I was like... ugh, here goes. So I said "Well Adam, Don played with my heart and made me feel like I was a fool. I no longer love nor respect him the way I used to. I need to move on and I sincerely want it to be with you."

So he just sat there and smiled... for like... 10 minutes. lol He didn't even say anything. So finally I was like... WELL!?! haha He was like, GOD... YES! Yes, I'd be delighted to try for something more.

What I thought was really awesome was the fact that he never tried to feel all over me or even kiss me really deeply. When we got up to leave the restaurant he just looked at me, pulled me towards him and just held me to him for the longest time. Then he said "You won't regret this."

I know I won't Adam. I know I won't. :-)

So today... we went furniture shopping for his new house! Then we took the kids to the zoo and to the Aquarium and told them that mommy and Adam were going to be spending more time together. They, especially Lauren, was SO excited. They adore him, and he them.

So... that's that. Catie, thanks for your support on everything. It's been great talking to you. And please feel free to call me if you need a shoulder. Remember, I know what you're going through.

Talk to everyone soon!!

Sheesh... Some people

Tue, 03 Dec 2002 02:02:51 GMT

Wow... it's funny how I turn out to be the bad guy when I've changed nothing in the past year.

Today, Don came to the realization that his feelings for me were once again strong. Do I believe it? Hell who knows at this point. But what I do know is that I'M turning into the badguy because HE has feelings for ME once again

Someone made a comment about me not loving him because SURELY if I really did I would have dropped everything to see him by now. Hrm... let's reverse that a second. I'm the one with a job, family and children in Louisiana. If he really loved me doesn't it seem like he could have picked up his shit to do the same things I was apparently expected to do?

I dunno guys, think what you want. I think Don is confused. I have to agree with Renate and Catie on that subject only. But if you guys are reading this, please think about the other shoe before you try to bash it. I have never once pushed Don to make a decision in his life. Why do I disapear from his life periodically? Well, 1. My life no longer revolves around the Internet. I have a family and children to worry about. 2. Because Don has a new person to "love" every other week and frankly when love someone like I do him, seeing that hurts. 3. Because I'm sick of being judged by people that don't know shit about me.

Whatever you think, however you view me is really insignificant to me. I don't do anything to make anyone happy but my family and kids. I am who I am and that's not going to change. It never has.

Fri, 15 Nov 2002 01:02:02 GMT

Once again I'm confirming my beliefs that people should have to pass IQ tests to be parents. FUCKING IDIOTS! Why do people fuck with their child's mind like that? Don's in a relationship... if you wanna call it that... with a single mother. Big deal right? So am I... but to sleep with him, tell him afterwards that she isn't his girlfriend, call it off god knows how many times and CONTINUE to stay at his house or he at hers WITH THE BABY THERE... Jesus Christ I'm so mad I'm shaking.

A child... a BABY THAT AGE can't understand that her mother is a goddamn player. She only sees that there's a man there who apparently cares for her. But one day her mommy will go off like a goddamn switch and remove that caring man out of her life. Whoops... too bad for you! Lemme fuck with your mind some more while I go meet someone else to play house with. Fucking PISSES ME OFF!

I'm done.

Tue, 12 Nov 2002 04:22:12 GMT

God what a life...

I know I haven't posted in a while and it's been because of a combination of things...
1. I was outta town... left because of the hurricanes in New Orleans and then decided to stay with my sister for a while...
2. No one reads my journal anyway but Don and I can talk to him online all the time..
3. I forgot my password! :-O

I'm so confused. I came back and Don wasn't mad at me or anything. It was wonderful and immediately after talking to him for ten fucking minutes I fell into the same trap I found myself in a few months ago... dreamland. Problem is dreamland never becomes reality. Oh well... I caught myself before I fell this time. Wake up Grace Lynn...

He's happy... I need to back the fuck off. It's like I told him tonight... I'll be here when he figures out what he's doing with his life... somewhere in the corner... regardless of what direction he goes. *shrug* Not much else I can do. Not much different than it is now anyway... Just that same empty hole that's been there for the last four fucking years. lol

Anyway, I'm gonna get to bed. G'night.

Fri, 13 Sep 2002 23:26:23 GMT

I
HATE
MY
LIFE

Why does shit like this happen to me? Now I get to go through a custody battle for my children because my FUCKING EX HUSBAND decides he wants to show up now. Oh... but he still loves me. He can't believe he let me go. He's about to get remarried. Oh... and get this. To a woman that can't have children. OOOH I KNOW! I HAVE ONE HONEY! LET'S GO GET HIM NOW! Fuck you, Dave. Oh but he still loves me. If I would just give him one more chance. FUCK YOU, DAVE!

And Adam, don't even get me started. Ya know... there's this song that I'm listening to. Here's the lyrics:

I've seen this place a thousand times
I've felt this all before
And everytime you call I've waited there
As though you might not call at all

I know this face I'm wearing now
I've seen this in my eyes
And though it feels so great
I'm still afraid that you'll be leaving anytime

We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again with nothing more

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling I'll only believe it

Make it real
Or take it all away

I've caught myself smiling alone
Just thinking of your voice
And dreaming of your touch it's all too much
You know I don't have any choice

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling I'll only believe it

Make it real
Or take it all away

We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again with nothing more

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling I'll only believe it

Make it real
Or take it all away

I'm SO FUCKING TIRED of hearing the bullshit I love yous. I just want to be loved. To be needed... to be wanted. And I'm NOT. Not truely loved by ANYONE. I'm sick of being alone...

Wed, 11 Sep 2002 14:19:14 GMT

This too neat... I met a new friend on LJ! *waves to Starr*

I'm just on my way out the door to the lab. Ya know what a pet peeve of mine is? When people don't listen. Oh... and sarcasm too. I can appreciate a good cynical sense of humor but enough is enough. There comes a point you just wanna smack em all. lol

Anyway, I'll write more when I get home this afternoon. There surely won't be much on TV... 9/11 replays over and over. Am I the only one that thinks they shouldn't do that? Do you honestly think the families of the ones who died in that tragedy want to see it rehashed over and over? I mean, it's been a year and some of them are probably finally just starting to move on with their lives. But the minute they turn on the TV or Radio today, they have to relive it all again. Someone called me a cold hearted bitch yesterday for saying that. Then I went off on everything else I see wrong with it. But I wont do that here.

Anyway, see you guys!

Mon, 09 Sep 2002 07:09:04 GMT

I'll never understand emotions. For instance, why have I been laying in bed for 2 hours crying? Is it because I want what I can't have? Or what I don't want wants me? Is it because I'm alone with two kids and no outlook on the future as far as the lonliness ending?

I had an overall good day... and now I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out. Why? What in hell do I do to stop it? I hate this...

I'm going to bed to try and get my mind off of things. Sweet dreams...

Sun, 08 Sep 2002 14:27:05 GMT

OMG... it's 9:20 and I'm just waking up. Lauren got up, fixed her and Dave breakfast and didn't make a sound. VERY unusual for them. I'm usually awake within 5 minutes of their waking up. The phone rang and woke me up. Adam's coming over for lunch and to play with the kids. They have a blast with him. Especially Dave.

Yesterday we went to Biloxi to the beaches and to see the marine show. I hate going there. But Adam wanted to take Dave and Lauren so I figured what the hell. Then we went to see Stomp. That show is so damn cool. I love the way they can make the most kick ass music with brooms and matchboxes. lol If you've never heard of them, check out their website. www.stomp.com I believe. It's so fucking cool.

Anyway, I'm going clean up and take the kids in the pool for a while till Adam gets here. I'll write more later.

Missed you this weekend Don.